I'm really going to try and not show that I'm upset tonight.
I've been working with this one theater group for 22 years. For the first time ever, I've wanted to help on a production and there's no place for me. Even when they needed help in a pinch this weekend, they call the chick that's due to give birth in eight weeks rather than call me.
When I first realized I wasn't going to be working on this production, I was extremely upset. I tried to think of reasons why... Everyone on the planet knows that stupid crap irritates me. Lately there's been a lot of things happening in the theater world which could have been prevented if people just thought one step ahead. I hadn't been very shy about this stuff, so I think that may have been a reason why they don't want me involved in this production.
Anyway, I'd started to get over it and was pretty much ready to forget about the whole thing, when I heard about who was helping out backstage this weekend. Then it started all over again.
I'm actually surprised at how upset I am about this. I'll probably never know the real reason why. Could be that I just didn't show up at move in, so they thought I wasn't interested. Tho I'd been talking about it with the producer a few months before, so he knew. I also made it known a few days later that I wanted to help anywhere it was needed. I know they're busy and probably didn't think about it. Or, I'm right. I'm too much of a PIA to deal with. Who knows.
I'd already arranged to see the show with co-workers tonight. After finding out about how the backstage coverage was handled for this weekend, I'm now wishing I didn't. At the same time, I know a handful of people in the cast that I get along with well. Or at least I *think* I get along with well. I also know the show is going to be fantastic. It just really sucks that I'm not part of it, even in some little way.
Oh well. Gotta stop the pity party and not let it show I'm upset. Suck it up. Be an actress... Ha. Now that's funny.
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